Travis is 21 years old, studying: 2nd Year B Comm Economics, the middle child of three children.  His mother started her business just after he was born.

What do you remember about growing up with a mother who ran her own business?
I remember the maid – she fed me, bathed me, sent me to bed…  Both my parents worked.  I didn’t know anything different!  I liked our maid. She was a constant presence until she died of AIDS when I was about 11 years old.

I remember that school transport arrangements were difficult.  We tried many things – my parents tried to fit dropping and fetching us into their schedules, we had drivers, we made sure we had lots of activities after school to decrease the time we had to wait for them to come and pick us up… and often we just had to WAIT.  We were “forgotten” lots of times!  My dad also worked in his own company when I was small;  he was also very busy.  One parent would rush us to school in the mornings.  We only saw them again late in the evening – usually at least one of them was home.

My mom sometimes attended my school and sports events.  If she thought an event was really important, she’d be there.  But she was aways very encouraging, even though she wasn’t physically present.

My mom had a hard time.  I know she was stressed, even though she thought she didn’t show it.  She was often very tired. I think stress and tiredness caused a lot of the tension and fights between my parents.

What can you say about the way your mother brought you up, and about your relationship with your mom at this time?
She supported us in making our own decisions, like in which sports we wanted to participate.  She made an effort to try and get us to go as far as possible by arranging lessons with the best tutors and coaches.  She made it possible for us to start almost anything; chess, karate, you name it… but in the end we had the freedom to choose what we wanted to continue with.  She gave us lots of freedom to do what we wanted – e.g. visiting with friends on our bikes and being in the streets, as long as we were with other people, and as long as it was daytime.  She trusted us to not do stupid things. I knew that if I would break her trust, it wouldn’t be easy to get it back.  She always provided us with everything we needed.  I think it was a choice she made:  to rather be able to provide for us, than being available to spend lots of time with us and not be able to provide for us.

She didn’t do the “motherly thing” like make sandwhiches, pack our bags, cook our dinner… If I wanted to take lunch to school, I had to wake up early and make it myself.  That was way too much trouble, so I ended up staying hungry most afternoons if I had activities after school!  But I could have done it myself.  This taught me to take care of things myself – I learned to take responsibility and not blame others if I forgot something or when something was missing.  We were capable of looking after ourselves.  My mom didn’t mollycoddle us.  If we had some little issue like a sore toe she would let us take care of it ourselves.  If there really was a problem, she would always sort it out.

My mom’s intense focus on her business did cost us a family vibe; a  family life.  We were not  connected as a family;  we didn’t have much intimate knowledge of each other.  We were more like acquaintances who shared a house.

Who and what helped you to cope with growing up? 
My DO IT YOURSELF attitude helped a lot.  And us kids learned to stick together.  My sister (the eldest) did a lot to support my brother and I.  My parents would literally drop us at the gate after school, and my sister made us lunch.  She also helped me with my schoolwork.  We learned who to phone for what, where to look for things, and we found out how things worked, like ordering take aways, how to make bacon and eggs and other food, how the stove and oven and microwave oven worked.

Did you used to think that kids who had mothers that didn’t work, were better off than you?
Yes and no.  Yes, because  they seemed to be taken care of a lot more.  No, because they couldn’t do half the things I could –in terms of competencies and freedom.  If I could choose?  I think if I was “mothered” more I would have gotten into a lot more trouble because of my character:  I would have rebelled!  But, in my case, there wasn’t anyone to notice, so it would have been pointless.

What could / should your parents have done differently?
I don’t think it could really have been different.  My parents’ businesses put a lot of strain on their relationship with each other, and with us kids.  But the thing is, if you have to work, you have to work.

I do think it would probably have been better if they got divorced earlier, rather than putting it off until now “for the sake of the children”.  My parents weren’t happy.  They tried to pretend that everything was OK.   But is was just a Big Pretend:  my parents are not actors – they’re business people.  Between all the fighting and all the tense silences we knew exactly what was going on.  Yes, the divorce is a mind shock now:  even though their relationship wasn’t happy, I still thought of them as a unit.  My friends whose parents divorced earlier on, started to think of their parents as separate people much earlier on.  I now have to get used to that way of thinking.   

Do you have plans to run your own business someday?
I already am!  I’m in partnership with an x-teacher:  we have a Mobile Phone Repair business.  We serve mainly the corporate market:  we fetch broken phones, fix it, and return it to them.  Our turn-around time is about one week, compared to 4 – 6 weeks offered by other companies.  Business was really good last year – we were even a finalist in the 702 Small Business Awards for 2008.  But the past 4 – 5 months we’ve been experiencing a huge slump.  We ascribe it to the economy – people are much more careful about the money they spend – if it’s not a necessity, they rather make do if the phone still works.  We don’t have any really big plans for this business…  We are happy to make mistakes on this one in preparation for another business one day.

I’m not sure about my plans for the future.  But I do think that even if I joined a corporate environment, I’ll still have a business on the side. 

Do you intend to have children?
Not particularly… I love kids and I love playing with them – but I don’t see it as a viable option now.  I want to have a family… but preferrably my sister’s!  For my grown up life I would like to be financially comfortable – I don’t want to struggle.  IF I do have a wife and family, I want to be able to provide for them easily.  I don’t want to be a person who is never home.  I definitely want to be present a bit more…

What advice do you have for Mompreneurs?
Get somewhere first in your career or business, and THEN have children!!!
Be prepared:  its not easy – and if the relationship between you and your husband is not 100%, its going to be tough.